Russia To Invade Guilford Next

This picture could cause World War 3.

Russia Ready To Attack Guilford

King Dennis of Guilford has finally found a way to get some foreign power to attack him. The United States won't do it because they know the King just wants money to rebuild after the U.S. bombs Guilford.

"No one would attack us on the ground," the King said. "Oppressed hillbillies are more deadly than any military forces on earth, and in Guilford, we keep our hillbillies fired up. It's a full time job trying to keep them from killing me."

The King sent the above photo, without the captions, to Putin and said the one on the right, Texas Jack Dick Broadwell, was related to Putin so Putin was actually a hillbilly and not even Russian.

"Your great-grandpa was a hillbilly," the King said in a letter to Putin. "He got shot in Guilford long ago. So you don't have the balls to invade us...and you owe me six thousand from our last card game."

Apparently, this worked. Russia now plans to send shock troops disguised as political refugees or illegals to America, where they will meet in New York and then ride the Greyhound to Cincinnati and then rent cars with their school money to take them to the Guilford Border. 

"Good plan," the King said. "I just hope they save some of that school money for Guilford when we stomp their butts."

The Russians Are Coming is now plastered on signs all over Guilford. Since 99.2 percent of Guilford peasants can't read, the signs don't mean much. I put up pictures of Putin with a rifle and put a bullseye on his forehead. A bullseye will always draw peasant rifle fire, especially since they know Putin played poker at the castle.

"If this doesn't work," the King said. "I'll go back to selling Guilford stuff on the web."

There is nothing more dangerous than a pissed off  Guilford hillbilly.