How To Get A Politician To Listen To You (Relevant today)

This blue boner will get you attention in DC.



How To Get A Politician To Listen To You
Price Cut from 14.95 to 8.95
The King of Guilford knows what it's like to be scorned as a dirty peasant; to be told you are one of the "little people" that Judge Ginsberg referred to in a speech. Unless, of course, she meant from the movie Darby O'Gill and the Little People, which the King knows was not in her mind at the time. She was probably waiting for the sound of the simple noise maker pictured above.

The King wasn't always a King, and rose from the ranks of peasant after getting drunk and winning a fortune at cards and announcing he was King at three in the morning and challenging anyone in Guilford to dispute his claim. No one came outside so he has been King ever since. 

That's why a King backed Guilford company Things That Make Noise is now selling the Politician Magnet, guaranteed to draw every DC politician to instant attention and listen to what you have to say. For 12.95, you can be the hit of any news conference in DC or anywhere politicians gather. (Not guaranteed to work on local politicians because they are probably too young; try dropping some change.)

You can instantly take control of any national news conference simply by squeezing the Blue Boner Squeaky. All those hands waving and everyone talking at once. Forget about it. The silence that will follow and the attention you will get from those possibly scrambled minds is a rush. You are now in control of the people who think they control you. Get answers to your questions now. Well, get some garbled attempt at answering your question... and you can expect to lose the squeaky toy. Give it to the nearest Secret Service agent after the conference so they can keep their politician under some sound guidance.

 Get one today, and don't steal your dog's.

(Disclaimer: The Blue Boner Squeaky will not work on the King of Guilford, and attempting to use one around the King is death penalty offense #34462 Attempting to distract the King with a Boner or any other device that uses hand power, gas, diesel, or battery power.)
Warning: Do Not substitute for cigars during sex.

Big Joe reacts to the sound of the Blue Boner on a company research trip in Cincinnati.

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