German Author In Guilford

The King's German cousin makes an entry into the mystery market.

King's Cousin To Release Mystery

Gunther G. Gonzo had never written a mystery before he moved to Guilford. "I based it on a story I had heard from a police officer in Berlin. I added a few things, like a huge collective farm in dairy country, and a rodeo, a big city bar, and the missing chicken."

"It's a spy novel," the King said. "The lead character is named Dennis so how could I not like it. Everyone knows that everyone on the planet was named Dennis until they did something wrong. Dennis represents purity and virtue."

"Yeah, that's it," Gonzo told reporters. "The midget on the cover is the lead character's right hand man, Jacko. The chicken and the model are also from the dungeon kitchen."

"We got a big dungeon," the King said.

Mindy Raghorn Wallace Gippy, a Guilford fugitive reporter from The King Sucks magazine, who will be hanged when she is caught, had this to say: "Once again that perverted King insults all women with his racist cover which is demeaning to women, farm animals, and midgets."

"I didn't make the cover," the King said. "But anyone knows better than to listen to a woman with four names. She don't even know who she is. My cousin rented the dungeon for a day and made the cover. It's rather eye-catching, and chicken catching. The Queen shook her head, but she does that a lot, and then she whipped the kitchen maid for spilling coffee."

The new book will be out in December from Guilford's Dungeon Press. It will be free for Guilford peasants. Since Guilford peasants don't read, no one is expected to pick up a copy in Guilford. 

For all non-Guilford peasants, it will cost 10.00 American, but they will also accept Piasters, Dong, Krugerrands, casino chips, rolled pennies, MPC, and .308 ammunition.

Look for it December 1 at online stores everywhere.

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