Guilford Drops 12,000 Pound Bomb

KING OF GUILFORD NEWS 
The book (second row left) Waiting For An Open Bed  provided the perfect
cover for the King to be missing from Guilford. He hasn't been to Sunnyvale
in years. (click to enlarge)
 Southeast Indiana News: 
Guilford War Uses 12,000 Pound Nut Bomb
    
King Dennis of Guilford's phony return from the Sunnyvale Mental Rehab Facility was a cover story to keep outsiders from coming to Guilford while he faced a terrorist uprising that has, until now, been ignored by the media. 

 "The Guilford castle had been under attack for weeks," the King said. "The story that I was crazy was just a cover so I could eliminate the terrorist threat in Guilford." 


 According to a media report, the attack on the King has been confined to the castle grounds, and so far 64 Guilford Militia troops have been killed or wounded. The Queen of Guilford was wounded by shrapnel and the King was shot in the left leg. The report also indicates 1,926 terrorists have been killed in the past two weeks. 

"It's not about freedom for peasants and all that ridiculous stuff," the King said. "This war is over the castle yard. The terrorists have been surrounding and digging trenches to the castle for too long and I decided to stop them once and for all." 

 Firefights, explosions, and bombing runs have been heard on the castle grounds at all hours of the day and night. 

 "We're in the cleanup phase now after I employed my secret 12,000 pound weapon called "The Nut Bomb" to bring the terrorists out in the open." 

U.N. weapons inspectors were allowed to examine the King's Nut Bomb because they were sure he was using weapons of mass destruction. It turned out to be six boxcars of exploding walnut shell shrapnel that killed every terrorist on the castle grounds.

Guilford terrorist firing at castle.



  

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