Peasants Protest: King Removed And Replaced By Twin Brother

With the new tower crane for dropping peasants into the creek behind them, thousands of Guilford peasants protested today in the King's Creek Park to have him removed from being the King.
"It wasn't much of a protest," an unauthorized anonymous spokesman for the King said. "I'm not saying this really happened because I'm not supposed to say this happened, but it happened. The peasants all got drunk, took off their clothes, and groveled in the dirt. They want the King replaced, but they are too drunk to care right now."
The alcoholism rate in Guilford is somewhere around 93%, according to Missy Kikendale Strubble, a lawyer associated with FDGP (Free Dirty Guilford Peasants). "When you are born in Guilford, you are pre-disposed to being a drunken sot," Missy said, after her attempts to get the peasants to storm the Guilford Castle failed.

The King disagrees. "I disagree," the King said. "What does she know, she has three names? And when I catch her she's going to still have three names but no head."

The King ended the situation by stating he would abdicate his throne and his twin brother would be the new King. The peasants cheered and staggered home after the one day protest, too drunk to realize the King doesn't have a twin brother.

"I'll change my name from Dennis to Bernie for a few weeks, offer some phony concessions and claim I'll lower taxes. They think they won, but won't really know because they care more about getting drunk and making noise."

So for right now, all is peaceful in Guilford again.
(The picture shows dirty peasants in the park during the protest.)

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