The April Guilford Special: Castle For Sale

From the Public Relations Office Of The King Of Guilford
The April Move Out Of The City And Be A King Special

(not a real King, like the King of Guilford, but enough of a King so you won't be hanged)

For Sale: Old Castle located in Guilford, Indiana

43 rooms including 8 bathrooms, 3 kitchens, 12 bedrooms (some with whips and chains and a trapeze), 43 fireplaces, a nice dungeon and torture chamber, TV room, library, ballroom, laundry, stables, military barracks, hanging peasant garden, bowling alley, art gallery, and a few surprise rooms and secret panels.

Includes 12 peasants and 3 food tasters.

Price: 2,700,000 plus taxes (King Tax, Breathe the Air Tax, Bingo Tax, Guilford Hanging Tax, Passport Tax, Phone Line Tax, Thumb Tax, Taxi Tax, Tax Tax)
Total cost with Taxes 4,900,000
(Note) There are no Property Taxes in Guilford

This castle has been vacant for 2 years after The King moved to the new castle with a better dungeon. Property may be haunted by several dirty peasants.

Contact: Skeeter Ray Sexton/Guilford Realty
skeeterray@guilford.com

(if no reply from Skeeter Ray Sexton, he has been executed)

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