King Of Guilford Runs For President

The King will run on his flying car platform.

King Dennis Runs For President

King Dennis of Guilford has decided to run for President of the United States under his Guilford Party Platform and move his headquarters to Guilford. 

"I will run on a flying car platform," the King said. "Anyone who votes for me will get a free flying car when I get one. They promised us flying cars by 2000 when I was a kid, and I will make sure we get them during my tour. Since everyone in the world seems to be running for president, I may as well join the group."

When asked why he would make a good President, the King replied, "There are no longer any Americans in Washington. Try going to the monuments area and speak English. Never thought I would see this. You will be lucky if you find anyone who speaks English. Who let this happen?"

When asked what he would actually do if elected, the King said:

1. Fire every crooked politician in the pockets of foreign interests in DC, which means almost everyone, and hold new elections with a tough screening process to prove who really cares about America and not their purse strings.

2. Stop most foreign aid, especially to subversive governments.

3. Pull out of the Middle East Wars and let those people handle their own affairs.

4. Give Israel our blessing to kick butt and stay out of it.

5. Stop putting Social Security into the general fund and create an actual Social Security Account instead of the Ponzi Scam that now exists.

6. Close our borders and deport or eject all illegals, people who burn our flag, and people who have terrorist ties or sympathy, including all natural born Americans who don't want to be here and think they can live a better life somewhere else. I would also close down Berkeley College for good as being counter to United States Security, and any other college existing on Federal Funds if it sponsors terrorist thinking. Also stop any kind of assistance to illegals and never let anyone in this country who has ties to or travels to terrorist countries.

7. Eliminate the IRS and go to the flat 10% tax.

8. Declare real active war on all drug cartels and make dealing addictive drugs a capital offense punishable by death. Hire enough people to inspect all cargo entering this country, and set a boundary on how much property can be owned by foreign governments or corporations. Confiscate all assets owned by any terrorist or anti-American organizations or country.

9. Bring back the Three C's (Civilian Conservation Corps), which would provide jobs for the unemployed while maintaining roads and bridges.

10. Make the United States a leading oil producer and eliminate the foreign oil cartels influence.

11. Work to take the military image out of police departments and urge the police to become more community friendly with law abiding citizens.

12. Make looting a shoot on sight offense always.

13. Turn all Welfare programs over to states rights and let each state decide the rules for obtaining assistance. Let the states decide their own marriage and abortion issues.

14. Pass a law to cease all attempts to make the VA a privately owned charity or corporation.

15. Give tax incentives to bring industry back to this country, and stop all attempts by current politicians to make America a Third World Country so the World Bank can't push its efforts to make a one world currency.

16. Annex California to Mexico or deport all illegals and take control of that part of the country.

17. Dispatch federal troops to wipe out all violent street gangs who sell drugs in America, right now. Permanently station federal troops on the borders with orders to shoot people who smuggle anything illegal across the border.

18. Make English mandatory and the official language in America. Make sure people who graduate have a basic idea of spelling words before they go out in the world.

19. Make all politicians fall under Social Security and have the same health care all Americans have, then see how fast they fix everything.

20. Fire the Supreme Court and start over.

21. Create a military full of patriotic Americans and not just people there for a job. Make the people adapt to the military, not the other way around.

22. Once again make a true nation under God.

(For those who study history, we are at the stage right before the circumstances that created the fall of the Roman Empire. It can still be turned around.)