Pictures From The Guilford Castle at Christmas

A Concise Christmas Photo Tour of the Guilford Castle (click photos to enlarge)


The King is usually in turmoil and can be quite direct with his subjects (see sign at far left), but then he seems to show Christmas spirit by the sign on the brick wall at right; until one of the servants let it slip that the sign was on the entrance to the Guilford Dungeon.






The left photo shows Fred, the King's favorite peasant, hanging around the Castle Play Room. "He doesn't say much anymore," the King said. "And I can beat him at chess."



On the right, the King's party crown is only brought out for special dinners or peasant hangings.


The King's Card Game weapons: a stainless 45 caliber with special grips and 230 grain hollowpoints, and a 25 caliber double shot derringer. (He once had to pull both on a past Pope and the late John Gotti during marathon poker games. That funfest can be found in the Guilford historical record.) The King always carries both, which can make it difficult to slow dance with the Queen.





The sword rack in the Whips and Chains Play and Exercise Room displays some of the weapons the King may use on a typical day to skewer a peasant who pisses him off. The King prefers the Roman Gladius, but the Queen likes the big pointy axe.
(The tour will continue in another episode, and really didn't have nothing to do with Christmas because the tree wasn't up yet. This tour was more for outsiders who don't believe the King is a real person who governs actual dirty peasants.)

Comments

Anonymous said…
My Father the King is a wonderful man. He who keeps the Dirty Peasants in line rule the earth. Respect my family or "off with your heads! Dirty Peasants!"

Princess Lindalou of Guilford
December 29, 2010 at 4:09 PM
Unknown said…
The King agrees with the royal princess.
December 29, 2010 at 4:18 PM
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