Cheap Trip From Guilford to Rio For Summer Olympics

Hotel Guilfordo (red building) in a Rio luxury neighborhood.


Rio Olympic Games the Guilford Way
During the summer, the King of Guilford purchased a luxury hotel in Rio for the summer games. 
"No one, including my dirty peasants, should have to pay a fortune to go to the Olympic Games in 2016."
The Hotel Guilfordo features one bedroom suites with a bathroom on every floor for 200 dollars a week, which includes two meals and the escort to the games through the colorful neighborhood several miles from the Olympics. With the 1000 dollar round trip ticket on a 12 seat propeller seaplane, the trip only takes 46 hours down and 72 hours back. The entire Olympic experience minus event tickets is around 1600 dollars for three weeks.
"You can't beat that with a stick," the King said. "You don't need a passport due to a Guilford agreement with Brazil. They trust us."
Mindy Chadsworth Gippy, current editor of the paper The King Sucks, said this:
"The king has an agreement with them to take some Brazilian peasants back to Guilford with him. If they don't survive the ocean flight no one cares. The King probably makes 800 dollars profit from each person buying an Olympic trip. That hotel is in a hell hole."
"I don't listen to no woman with three names," the King said. "They all want to be my scullery maids."
The King has admitted the people who selected Rio for the summer games are just plain nuts. 
"Who wouldn't want to go to a place where you can get murdered for your shoes, catch the Zika virus, get robbed on every corner, and go to an ocean full of flesh eating bacteria?" he said. 
So far 12 peasants have signed up for the trip, and have all agreed to bring back a Brazilian peasant at least part way.
"None of them will make it back," Mindy said. "Including the people from Guilford."
All tickets must be bought in advance for the thrill of a life time in Rio.
When asked if he was going, King Dennis said: "I didn't get to be King by being stupid."

The escort to the games from the Hotel Guilfordo

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