ISIS Attack In Guilford Again

The Guilford Goose beheaded for being Christian.

King Set To Protect Dirty Peasants

 A manhunt is under way in Guilford to find the terrorists who beheaded the second Guilford Goose located across from the Guilford Post Office. The militia has orders to shoot on sight anyone who shows any indication of being a domestic ISIS terrorist. 


The King had this to say. "I know they will be domestic terrorists because unlike the rest of America, we seal the borders in Guilford and those foreign scumbags know better than to mess with Guilford. Some heinous wretch has attacked us and the attackers will pay a thousand times over for this outrage."

A relative of the owner, who didn't know what heinous wretch meant and would not give his name, told others that the goose owner heard a bunch of drunken singing outside his house at three in the morning. He then heard loud muffler pipes when a truck started and then a big clunk noise. When he came outside, the goose was turned over with its head missing. It had been hit by a drunken peasant truck, not some terrorists.

Mindy Chadsworth Hilton Davis, a reporter for the underground paper The King Sucks and a activist for dirty peasant rights said, "The peasants had it bad before, but now they are in for a new era of suppression with higher taxes, curfews, and loss of Halloween because no one will be allowed to wear a mask or head covering in Guilford. The story about the terrorists is fiction."

The King shrugged at that statement. "Never trust a woman with four names," he said. "She don't know what she wants and if I catch her in Guilford she'll be the star of a new Hang'em High movie. The Queen sculpted a new head for the goose so that stopped trying to fix up my office for awhile until this crusade is finished. We won't let those fanatics beat us."

The new goose, had a new bobble head, lights shining on it, and wore clothes. A house to house search will begin on March 1 for the terrorists.

 "We never did find out who knocked the head off the first Guilford Goose, but that case is still open," the King said. "If caught the goose defacer and all involved will be hanged from the Guilford traffic light."


The Guilford traffic light. Run this light and you will
swing from it in a rope neck tie.

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