Guilford Fires Missile Over California

The missile recently fired over the California coast was from Guilford, the King said today.
"It's my latest attempt to get someone to declare war on Guilford so we can get money to rebuild after they bomb my peasants." But it is not the type of warhead used in the recent Bonehead War, which began when some peasant called the King a bonehead.
The new more powerful missile contains no humans and is based on Dwight Bingham’s close observation of drunks using pay toilets in all-night hamburger restaurants in the 1960s.

Back then, many restaurants had pay toilets. Customers had to insert a dime in the coin slot to use the toilet. Pay toilets are also the origin of the dance called the Limbo as customers attempted to use the toilet without paying for it. After several experiments where he witnessed toilet doors being blown off the hinges by drunken patrons, Bingham wrote the thesis that has become the space flight Bible: Pay Toilet Door Hinge Failure Due To Food Induced Explosive Propulsion. Bingham’s formula is the basic equation that eventually put a United States rocket into orbit.

5SHWO+1QB=1TTB
(5 Small Hamburgers With Onions + 1 Quart Beer = 1 Trip To Bathroom)

"I thought the thing might go a few miles," the King said. "I was ready to condemn Bingham to death, even though he has been dead for years. But when the damn thing flew all the way to the coast in a few hours without getting spotted, I knew we had something that could make us a world power."

So far, there has been no reaction from the Obama administration or the DOD. One unknown spokesman for the Pentagon did say off the record..."that King of Guilford is just plain nuts."

The King shrugged. "Thanks for those kind words, but don't ever come to Guilford."

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