Fast Facts From Guilford Culture





















The Pigfarmus Sinus Cure

Startup companies have been a way of life for both peasants and royalty in Guilford, and most of the companies begin with Things That.
Things That Fly, Things That Suck, and Things That Stick In The Ground have all become Guilford trademarks, employing hundreds of peasants until they piss the King off and get executed or get killed in accidents. One company Stuff That Stinks, a corporate division of Things That Stink, developed the Guilford Pigfarmus sinus cure.

One night while drunk and having sinus problems, the King passed a  toxic pig farm that cleared his sinus problems. Guilford scientists developed a manual delivery system for the Pigfarmus Sinus Cure that blew seven windows out of the FBI Office in the Federal Building in Cincinnati, Ohio during tests.
"They didn't follow the directions," the King said.

 The prototype diagram of the Guilford Pigfarmus Sinus Cure says it all, and the factory exploded under mysterious circumstances a month later. Toxic gases killed livestock and 33 more peasants. The explosion took the shape of a pigface, making many peasants believe the explosion was caused by pissed off pigs or Satan.

"If you use it right, you will have no more sinus problems," the King said. "If you use it wrong, you will have no head. Either way, you will have no more sinus problems."

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