King Takes Impossible Jeopardy Test

(This article explains why Alex Trebek no longer has a mustache. He is trying to disguise himself in case he ever slips across the border into Guilford on his way back to Canada. There is a rumor that Alex Trebek has rented a bus to take every actor, comic and politician who says they will leave the country if Trump gets elected...out of the country to Canada or maybe Libya or maybe Saudi Arabia where they can enjoy their lives. They may find life in Mosul right up their alley.)

Alex Trebek has been sentenced to death in Guilford under death penalty offense #42173/ Pissing Off the King With A Stupid Online Test.
"If he ever comes to Guilford, he will be instantly hanged without trial or ceremony in front of St. Bluebeard Church."
The King also announced free admission to all peasants bringing rocks to throw at Trebek. The King is so mad that any peasants who resemble Trebek will also be executed. Anyone in Guilford who isn't bald and has a mustache is in trouble. The King made an attempt to type in an answer for 50 questions, with only 15 seconds allowed per question. Questions like...In what year was the quantum mass of celery dipped in French whiskey first discovered in Canada? pissed the King off enough to issue a death sentence.
"The guy is always talking about French and Canada," the King said. "I've had enough. He is about to become the Salman Rushdie/Satanic Verses or ISIS guy in Guilford. I have a contract on his butt forever."
Insiders say the King is angry because he does real good watching the show at the castle, but has never done well on a test for the program. He also is angry because they never have a show dedicated to the King of Guilford and categories like: Hanging Peasants, Taxing Your Peasants, Dragging Peasants, Whips and Chains, and Wars in Guilford.

 (Peasants like Larry Mudd, above, will be executed unless he shaves his mustache and skull so he won't resemble Alex Trebek.)

Comments

Michelle said…
Everybody knows that the quantum mass of celery dipped in French whiskey was first discovered in Canada in 1902. I guess the King needs to hit the books.
January 28, 2010 at 8:08 AM
Unknown said…
That's ironic because I have been watching Jeopardy when I eat dinner and always thought of us watching it together a long time ago. I was going to suggest for you to try to make it on the show because you like it so much. Keep trying!
January 30, 2010 at 8:38 PM
Unknown said…
I keep trying. I remember when we used to watch it. I'm telling you that test is nothing like the show.
January 30, 2010 at 9:55 PM
Unknown said…
I never miss, or very rarely do miss, the final Jeopardy question. They had celebrity Jeopardy on this week and I always do good because they make a lot of the questions easier.
May 8, 2010 at 5:11 AM
Unknown said…
I took the test in January and did better, I thought, but you may never hear from them or you may hear in the next year. I'm a King. I don't wait a year for nothing.
March 7, 2012 at 6:34 PM
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