New Guilford Taxes For 2017
Following the lead of federal and local governments of really jamming it to citizens under the guise that they are doing something good for them, the King of Guilford decided to level new taxes on his peasant population. "Guilford is like any other government," the King said. "We are going to tax things people enjoy the most because we know they will pay anything to continue trying to enjoy their miserable pointless lives under endless regulations." Here is a partial list of new Guilford taxes. Junkyard Dog Tax In addition to the old $4.00 Ball Tax on male dogs in Guilford, there will be a $2.00 no ball tax for female dogs, and a $3.00 junkyard dog tax for any animal weighing over 22 pounds. There will be an additional $2.00 excise tax if a dog has all its teeth or has escaped from the Guilford Wang Fo You Chinese Restaurant with all limbs. Dogs over the age of twenty or missing a leg are exempt from the tax. Fireworks Tax... any explosive will have a new 10