King Appoints Dental Surgeon
Alex Darko, a Guilford citizen fresh from Monk's dental school in New Jersey, has been appointed the new Guilford Dental Surgeon. His office will be located on the castle grounds next to the combo swimming and interrogation pool. "There wasn't enough room in the dungeon," the King said. A peasant activist group FDP (Free Dirty Peasants) has complained because they say Alex Darko is torturing peasants and they are terrified the moment they see him. A spokesman said: "He doesn't know how to fill cavities and he just pulls or pounds everything out without pain killers." "He's a dentist," the King said. "Everyone, including my kingly self, is afraid of a dentist. I wouldn't let the boy near me. I also don't agree with wearing every tooth you pry out or pull around your neck, but the peasants always pay their bills on time in cash and it's good for business." Alex Darko is the first and only Guilford Dentist.