Guilford Life: Not Your Average Kingdom

Things You May See In Guilford


Peasant Ernie Boyle posed in the Guilford Dungeon as he
displays his new set of free dentures.


Made by Things That Go In Your Mouth, Guilford dentures are cheap.
Most peasants only need two tooth dentures.


 
"These things is great for chewing," Ernie Boyle said, from his dungeon cell where he has been imprisoned for three months for calling the King a bonehead. "That King is a good man."
The King smiled when asked about Ernie. "It's a good thing for him he only needed the two tooth denture. If he had all of his teeth, I would have hanged him to avoid a deficit. So in his case, tooth decay saved his life."
 
 
 


Some of the King's art hangs along the 3000 castle stairs. The King
claims he has cut expenses since the old castle had 10,000 stairs.


The King was almost killed in action the day he ventured outside Guilford
and stumbled into a feminist protest while trying to hire a new maid to iron for him.

After her refusal to sing "Rocky Top" and the "Chicken Dance",
Streisand's concert in Guilford was cut short and she was escorted
out of the kingdom.

Elvis really does live in Guilford.
(Seen here after performing at the Catholic Bingo)

A typical Guilford peasant family picture brought to school
for Show and Tell.


(Passports are required in Guilford. Travel at your own risk.)
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 





 

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