King of Guilford News

(This article explains why Alex Trebek no longer has a mustache. He is trying to disguise himself in case he ever slips across the border into Guilford on his way back to Canada. There is a rumor that Alex Trebek has rented a bus to take every actor, comic and politician who says they will leave the country if Trump gets elected...out of the country to Canada or maybe Libya or maybe Saudi Arabia where they can enjoy their lives. They may find life in Mosul right up their alley.) Alex Trebek has been sentenced to death in Guilford under death penalty offense #42173/ Pissing Off the King With A Stupid Online Test. "If he ever comes to Guilford, he will be instantly hanged without trial or ceremony in front of St. Bluebeard Church." The King also announced free admission to all peasants bringing rocks to throw at Trebek. The King is so mad that any peasants who resemble Trebek will also be executed. Anyone in Guilford who isn't bald and has a mustache is in trouble....

        Tammy Melon starring in the way off-Broadway production “Old Mother Hubbard” displays the logistical                                        problems of even sitting up to get to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone. Ask The King of Guilford Where Do Fairy Tales Come From?     Most fairy tales or rhymes were and are reflections of current society during the time they were written. Humpty Dumpty was about a King.  Ring Around The Rosy was about the Black Death. Jack and Jill also made a political statement. That’s where most of them originate.     So being a smart guy King, I decided to write a very short fairy tale that could also double as a high school primer, based on our current cultural standards and reading level for the majority of students. The first fairy tale of my book is below. The King's...